Getting Started - Keeping Going

How to start a Men's Small Group

How to lead a weekly Men's Small Group

HOW TO START A SMALL GROUP - the non-threatening start up strategy

The easiest group to get together and maintain are men who are already friends and have an existing affinity. This additional ‘glue’ will help keep a group together in any rough patches. Look for guys you already know, who are in your church, are at a similar age and life stage (no children, young children, adult children) and interests. Going for greater diversity is a higher risk strategy that requires a bit more confidence and leadership.

Men like to get in on the ground floor. Being invited to join a group that has been going for years is more intimidating. Being asked to join a group that started six months ago makes a guy wonder why he wasn’t invited in the first place. Therefore, a successful way to invite men in is to get your core guy, then together, ask the next guy. For example “Dean and I are thinking of forming a men’s small group. We thought of you as someone who could be interested in being part of it. We think you would add a lot to the group.”

Inviting a man in at the ground floor means that he contributes to the decision-making. He helps decide when you will meet. He is part of the decision-making process about what material you use as a study. He is part of the discussion about where you meet. And most importantly, he helps decide how long the group exists for.

Having a finish date is important to men who take their commitments seriously. A fixed term commitment is less intimidating to those of us who are not sure if they want to be part of a small group or have doubts about how they will get along with others in the group. Agree on which study to do.

The end of the study should define a potential exit point. At the exit point, one man may leave or the group may disband totally. It gives men the opportunity to find a group that works for them. Because the exit point is agreed to from the outset, there is no loss of honour if men leave. Agree on the goals you want to achieve, evaluate how you are going as a group and move on.

HOW TO LEAD A WEEKLY MEN'S SMALL GROUP

By Patrick Morley

Few things have changed my life like the small groups I have been in over the last 30 years.

Currently I'm in two - a leaders discipleship group and, for 25 years, a weekly one-on-one meeting for fellowship and prayer. The most intense learning, growth, sharing, encouragement, accountability, prayer, and fellowship I've experienced has taken place in small groups.

However, most men's small groups peter out. Ironically, the same small group that can bring about great change is also fragile to sustain. The goal is to "create, capture, and sustain disciples". How can we overcome inertia? To make disciples we need momentum - we must "create, capture, and sustain momentum". So what's the secret? The secret of momentum is to "create, capture, and sustain value".

I would like to show you how small groups open the door to creating, capturing, and sustaining all three - disciples, momentum, and value.

WHAT MAKES A GROUP LAST?

Value is what makes a group last. Every time a man shows up, he has decided not to do something else. Most men have many choices, so your small group has to meet the "real and felt needs test" or it won't last.

So what do men find valuable? Life can be brutal. Every day men must manage their lives against the Fall. Because life is so hard, men need to be encouraged. They need a hug from God. They need the human touch. And this, while wearing the skin of a loner.

The mega-answer? Care. Caring creates, captures, and sustains value, momentum, and disciples. Men will come if they sense you really care about them. If they don't, they will eventually drift away - but rarely tell you why.

You will know you have succeeded when you hear men saying: "I really feel like my group cares about me personally"; "The leader makes sure I get a chance to air my thoughts"; and "I cannot believe how my life is changing".

Read the article here http://www.maninthemirror.org/alm/alm94.htm